Welcome 2012

before i tell my story i want to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!

i woke up in the morning it's still 31 December 2011. 2012 is getting closer. so, i prepared my clothes. because, i want to stay overnight at bebby's home. we're planned to go to klcc. we want to watch a firework show at midnight. before me and bebby go of course we change our clothes. i'm so confused. i don't know what to wear. i want to look beautiful in front of kibaw. i want to make him say "you look so beautiful tonight" and i choose a short pink dress. bebby said "why you look so confused? it's just a new year." and i said "i just want to look beautiful" and bebby smiled.

me and my friends named bayu, bebby, rian goes to klcc by train. and the shock moment, when bebby meet bayu, bayu said "you look so beautiful" and bebby said "thankyou" they both smile. i want to be like bebby. does it great when your boyfriend's said like that? :) well, back to topic. initially, i really want to go to klcc with ma boy, kibaw. but, he couldn't. he's already there with his fine fellow. well, it's okay. i can meet him there when i'm arrived. the station too crowded. so hard to get a good signal. i couldn't find him. but, finally i met him in front of a lot of peoples. in front of the main door. too excited. i found him. i met him. but, he didn't said anything hmm.. and what i tried to look beautiful in front of him, it's failed. it's okay, i know i don't deserve that. with hurry, he said "come on, let's go to the back of this large lakes. my friends wait up there." so we follow him. he was so busy, call and call his friend one by one. i just want to walk with him. but, it's okay i know he's so busy. he's really want to meet his friends. he's really miss his friends. friends is everything, right? but, because he's walked to fast and i'm too tired to walked and he don't care with me *forget this one, i know i'm selfish* we finally get lost with him. he's with one of my friends rian. and i'm with dolar, bayu, and bebby. after an exhausting search, we found him. of course with his friends.

actually, i can't get it. i wasn't strong enough with the smoke of their's cigarette. but, i'm still holding on because i still want to see him even though he don't know i was there. i'm still waiting for him to start a conversation with me. he's still busy with his camera and his friends. again and again, i must say it's okay. i'm still waiting with the selfish nature of mine. i'm sorry. and thanks god finally he came to me. even though only briefly but at least he talk to me. i talk to him. we talk to each other. and he's back to his routine. camera and friends. and again, i said it's okay. we're really thirsty at that time. the clock show us, it's around 10pm i think. and we decided to buy some water at shopping mall. i shout "septian, i'm thirsty. i want to buy some drinks there. wait here." he's reply "okay, just tell me later by bbm if you done with it." and we go. this is a little bit disappointed, we couldn't find some drinks. when we on our way to go back, i just smiled when i see a couple. they both look so happy. spend they last night on 2011 with their lovely person. i want, but i know i can't. i try to understand, he's friends more important.

a big clock on the building show me it's already 11 pm. and with hurry, contact him again again again and again. he's phone is not active. you know what i feel? i'm sad, disappointed, jealous, AH i just want to watch a firework with him. i'm hopeless. i try to remember when he say something before we go. he say "i want to spend my night with you" "are you sure? how about your friends?" "i don't care, i just wanna be with you on last night of 2011" when he said that, i smiled. but, what i imagined was different. i don't know where is he. and, i don't feel he try to do that. try to be with me. he's so busy. this is my first time and my last time celebrate the new year in kuala lumpur. and i just want to spend my night with you. okay, not night. just to watch a firework show with you it's making me happy enough. but, i can't.

the firework begin. all the couples said "happy new year dear" also bayu and bebby. i'm just watching, smile and think where is he? i wish you were here. please try to find me. i'm too tired to looking for you. i'm too tired to find you around the mall for the second times. i'm too tired to listen my friends said "dhe, we're tired. just accept the fact that he's not here. stop find him" the beginning of this year was a fairly bad for me. and i decided to wacth the firework with them. my beloved friend. and they're making it better. they make some jokes. and it's make me said "they are better" thankyou guys. this is the best new year eve's ever. i spend my night with my fine fellow.

after watched a fireworks show with the duration eight minutes i look at my watch and it's already 12.25 pm. many peoples say happy new year by bbm or text messages. but, what i do is contact him again. it's still cannot. i contact his friends named kak takim and kak fiya. they said, septian with us. we're at the first place. and i force my friends to go the first place we're gathered. and we arrived. you know what the first thing i do? i smile. don't know why. i just smile when i see him. and plus, he said something that makes my smile grow bigger. he said his sorry. i condone this. and before we go home, me bayu bebby septian and septian's friends goes to pavi. but when we arrived at pavi, we don't know how to go back home? by bus and taxi, i bet we're gonna stuck. traffic in everywhere. by lrt? we have to go back to klcc. and we decided to go back to klcc. actually, i'm not strong enough to go back to klcc. my eyes blur. i almost can't see anything. my head so dizzy. and it's because on thing "smoke of cigarettes" me and bayu bebby go home. septian just drop me in front of some cafe. he say thankyou sorry and be careful. along the way, i just see bayu and bebby. and this is the awkward moment. i fall. yes, i'm falling in front of them. i don't know why i can -_- again and again i watched them. bayu and bebby. and it's make me more jealous. hhh. septian, i wish you were here. i wish you have a lot of spare times for me.

thankyou septian for tonight. especially for bebby bayu dolar rian gallo wewe shavira who made my night more beautiful. this is the best night ever guys. you're great! i don't know what to do without you. i'm sorry for the trouble. i know i'm too busy to find septian. i'm sorry guys. i know you're tired to follow me. i'm selfish :( by the way, sorry for the 'past tense' i'm too tired to think, so i don't use it. at least you know it's past right? lol. and once again, happy new year!